Enhancing Sexual?Awareness
There are many myths about sex and sexuality in our society. One of the newer myths and possibly more confusing is that everyone has greater knowledge of sex and sexuality and everyone is comfortable with their sexuality and behavior. What this translates to for most individuals is everyone else has greater knowledge of sex and sexuality and everyone else is comfortable with their sexuality. This leaves most people feeling insecure and somewhat anxious about their unknowns in this area.
Even though it seems we have become a more open society in regards to sex ? the impression given by a visual media, the reality is there has been an enormous decrease in sex education, not only at the public and private school systems, but in colleges and universities as well. Many universities are now offering courses in what is considered ?pop and subcultures? but are eliminating courses in human sexuality. The underlying message being given is it is ok to study what is considered ?alternative? sexuality, but it is not natural or ok to understand your own sexual self. Not to mention the emphasis by our federal government through monies and grants to teach only the message of abstinence ? any other information is unnecessary.
The reality is ? we are naturally sexual beings who enjoy the experience of physical and emotional pleasure which comes in many forms. Usually, our sexual behavior is based on knowledge and values incorporated from the systems we grew up in. As we develop and experience new things, what we like and do change to fit our needs and our new wants. Some people enjoy only ?vanilla? sex (basic with no added frills or fuss), some begin to enjoy experimenting and expanding their sexual repertoire. Others begin to explore the many facets of what is known as kinky while others incorporate BD (bondage & discipline) or S&M into their sexual ventures. While all of these styles are different, the type of experience doesn?t mean unhealthy.
The point is most people in the United States grow up with mixed or negative messages about their bodies and sex, to the point where, parents are afraid to teach their children anything about their bodies. The reality is, if you are teaching your child what their nose and ears are, it is not unhealthy to teach them the real name of their penis or breasts. Many adults struggle with telling their physicians what difficulties they are experiencing because they don?t know how or don?t want to say embarrassing words.
Many people (couples as well as polyamorous relationships) choose to enter into sex therapy, not in crisis, but to explore their sexuality and enhance their physical and emotional relationships. The other message we are bombarded with is that you only seek services when you have problems. Don?t get me wrong, therapy is the place to explore individual, relationship and family issues as well as to address sexual dysfunction of all types. But ? just like we look for options in other areas of our life, sex therapy can also be a place to enhance and explore. So think about what messages you?ve been given about sex and answer the question what are your sexual values and beliefs. Our sexuality is not something to hide or be afraid of ? it exists and just like the other important things in our lives it needs attention, maintenance and acceptance.
So push yourself to find your norms and figure out what is healthy and exciting for you even if there isn?t a problem to fix.
The information offered in this column is not a replacement for counseling or therapy.
Dr. Beavers is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Sex Therapist and a Certified Sexuality Educator. She founded Nashville Sex Therapy offering individual, couples and relationship, family and group psychotherapy. Dr. Beavers has been guest speaker on training, conference workshops for the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, the GLBT Health Summit, the American Psychological Association and other local organizations and universities. She has also appeared on local television and radio shows discussing sex and sexuality, prevention of hate crimes, gender development and GLBT issues. Learn more www.nashvillesextherapy.com
1231A 17th Ave South
Nashville, TN 37212
615-341-0041
615-341-0040 fax
info@nashvillesextherapy.com
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Source: http://drlisabeavers.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/enhancing-sexual-awareness/
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